Now, I ask you: Where was a negligent mother to find camping trip dates for the last six years? Why, from past family updates, that’s where! I read through all our updates since 2006, and when I was done, I had exact dates for 22 campouts. How about that! So with the value of family updates reestablished in my mind, I determined once again to continue this most worthwhile of traditions.
And as a side note . . . Communications was another merit badge completed just in time for the Board of Review. The only thing he had left to finish on that was to write and submit a letter to the editor. Lo and behold, the newspaper actually published his letter, and you can read it here. I think this makes him kinda sorta famous, now that his name has appeared in print and everything.
See that smile on Jeff’s face? See that iPod Touch in his hand? The stars aligned and provided him with 1) substitute paper boy work that pays way better than his measly allowance, and 2) parental reassurances from Bryce that Internet access really truly can be blocked on mobile devices. He has owned the iPod for ten days, and that smile is still in place.
Dairy Queen provided FHE treats last week. Even more fun than eating Blizzards was witnessing the surprise on Jeff’s face when his DQ suggestion was actually approved. Brett had a cookie dough Blizzard, Jeff had a cookie jar Blizzard, and Jim had a strawberry banana Blizzard and complained about the bananas the whole time ... as usual.
You’d think he’d just give up and quit ordering that flavor, but he keeps trying. We go through this exact same scenario every single time: he explains to the cashier that he wants a green banana in his Blizzard. She looks at him like he’s a crazy person but then hesitantly asks the gals in the back to use the greenest banana possible. They tell her they don’t have any green bananas. She tells them to do the best they can, and then they all shrug at each other. Meanwhile, Jim is oblivious to this process and walks to the table saying, “I hope they get the bananas right this time.”
This is where I laugh and say, “They won’t. They just said they didn’t have any green bananas.” He then displays his stunned-and-annoyed look and says, “What?” To which I repeat the exchange I’ve just witnessed about them not having green bananas. He then launches into a tirade about what kind of customer service is that? If they don’t have any green bananas after he has specifically requested green bananas, they should come to him and say, “Sir, I’m sorry, but we don’t have any green bananas.”
That’s where I explain that they are teenagers and not terribly interested in customer service because they’re so confused about what to do with the crazy guy at the counter requesting green bananas!
I used to get frustrated with this process, but not anymore. It has become so predictable that it’s funny. The part that comes next is that Jim will launch into a discourse about Dairy Queen locations and how the only place he has ever gotten a decent strawberry banana Blizzard was in Richland. Never, ever has he had a decent one at any other location. Ever. To which I want to reply, “Dude. So if we’re not in Richland, don’t order strawberry banana!” Sheesh.
I told Bryce about our latest DQ adventure, and here’s what he said: “I just had to laugh at Dad's blizzard ritual. Goodness. I keep telling Dad just to stop at Albertson's and get a green banana before we go into Dairy Queen and give it to them to use, but he never does and never has, and most likely never will.”
So a word to the wise: never expect Dairy Queens outside of Richland to have green bananas.
And this concludes the initial installment of the newly resurrected Matheson Happenings.
2 comments:
Dad just read this and stormed down the hall mad at the DQ place all over again...
Haha! Oh, Dad.
Brett's letter to the editor is AWESOME. Also correct.
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